Tag: life

If ONLY

~ Sue Brown ~ Leave a comment

I first saw the homeless man, when I pulled into the parking lot of a large super-store…O.K…WalMart. I have never spent one night without a roof of some sort over my head. He was not standing visibly out in the open, where he could be easily seen, but rather off to the side. He sat on a wooden bench that almost seemed out of place near the large lot…but there he was.

At first, it struck me odd that he was not standing closer to where all the cars were coming in. I was not sure why he had even caught my eye at all, on his remote bench, as the parking lot was busy and I was being cautious. It was the first day in almost a month where the temperature and sun seemed to be in harmony and maybe he was enjoying it.

The man was holding a small sign, which eventually caught my attention; it said nothing more than HOMELESS. He held it very low on his lap. Perhap, he was worried about Security or local police chasing him away. It was then I decided to buy him some food and give it to him as I was leaving the parking lot. Inside I picked up a few prepackaged sandwiches and drinks, got my own toiletry items, and headed back out to my car. From where I had parked, I couldn’t see him any longer. Maybe he had left. When I got closer, I could see that he was still seated in the same spot…in the same position, holding the sign in his lap.

I wondered what I would say to this man. It was difficult to tell how old he was; he was so dirty. His ragged sweatshirt was torn and the soles were pulling off his sneakers, I could see that as I proceeded towards him. He spit onto the pavement in front of him with huge racking coughs and held up his hand not to come any closer. “I have a bad cold,” were his first raspy words. “I’ve been sleeping in the woods.” My bag of food seemed inadequate, but I handed it to him anyway. I hadn’t seen a full grown man quite that thin in a long time. His blue eyes were direct and he didn’t look away, but stared right at me.

Most of his front teeth were missing or badly decayed. He held such sadness in his eyes, that I involuntarily choked up. We chatted back and forth for a bit. I’m not sure why, because he was totally sober, I asked if he would stop drinking and he hesitated… then nodded agreement. When he mentioned he had just been into WalMart checking out the cough/cold medicine and then rattled off the price.. .I knew he was telling the truth about not feeling well.

If I had only stopped and asked him what he needed on the way in, I could have gotten that for him while I was in there, but I hadn’t been that insightful. It also occurred to me that maybe he was completely conning me. I do succumb to that. For some reason, he still struck me as sincere. I noticed a still burning cigarette on the ground next to the bench and asked him to try and stop smoking too.

My own brazenness amazed me! Who did I think I was asking this total stranger to stop drinking and smoking? Again, he nodded agreement. He acknowledged that the soft drink would feel good on his throat, but he didn’t know how much of the sandwich he could eat. I merely asked him that he “try” and felt compelled to mention how thin he was and that he needed to take better care of himself.

As I turned to leave, he called out to me softly. “Thank you for calling me Sir,” he said to me. My throat tightened. “God Bless you, Miss,” he said. “No, may He bless you,” was all I could utter in reply. They were the most sincere words I had said all week. As I waited to pull out of the parking lot, I gave a final glance in my rear view mirror. The man was eagerly tearing open the cellophane on the roast beef sandwich.

All of a sudden…I got it! There, but for the Grace of God… go I!

Please all, during these very trying times, let us focus on EVERYONE who has already have been given their share of Tests and Challenges. Let this not be a time of Political or Social oppositions. Let us be about being good people and helping others even if we are at odds with their lifestyle choices or beliefs. At the end of each of our lives, it appears that everything has been measured out in equal proportions. I am more aware of that each day that I am on this Earth.

Each Human has been given tests, challenges, and fears. But with that comes the HUMAN condition of HOPE. Let us never forget that each of us is put on this Earth for a purpose and that purpose will one day be clear.

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May is Graduation Month! BE TOUGH on FUTURE GENERATIONS! IT’S OUR FUTURE.

~ Sue Brown ~ Leave a comment

I try to keep up with many of my former students’ lives.  Over the years, I have taught so many; I’d like to say I remember them all, but that would be a lie.  I do remember all of those with “promise” and all of those with “struggles” as they took most of my attention and heart during the time I had them in the classroom. It’s impossible for me  to say who touched me the most.  Was it the ones that had so much potential, and actually went on to accomplish great things after they left me, or the ones who had overcome great odds and just getting them to come to school and eventually graduate high school had been a feat in itself?   I  can’t say.

In today’s high-tech society it is easy to follow their progress… or lack of.  Often they contact me themselves, my own email address has been the same since AOL’s inception and my students have  many times told me…”It’s so you, Ms. Brown!”  For that reason alone, I will always keep it.  Lately, it has not been difficult to track them down on the Internet. Sometimes, it’s through one of the conventional social connectors: i.e.  Facebook, Twitter, or now they tell me to Instagram them, whatever.  I also Google them and see what’s going on with them, good… or bad.
AND… every once in a while, I am sent a news article that delights me or causes me concern.  Technology makes us all connected… good and bad news.

It was one of the latter, that has been consuming most of my thinking the past few days.  I was forwarded  news  about one of the students that had held so much promise. He was gifted academically, a wonderful athlete, a leader in his class, and was ultimately accepted into one of the most prestigious universities in the Northeast.  He has now been out of college for quite a few years. The article read that He had just been sentenced to prison for the next decade of his life… on drug related charges.  It took my breath away.  How had this happened?

His proverbial fall from grace not only astounded me, but made me cry.  He was a student that had passed through my life and yet, I felt like I had failed him.  I can’t even imagine the raw emotions his family must be having. The feelings must run the full reign from anger, sadness, failure, and shame… then back to anger!  I know that’s what I felt anyway.

How dare he throw his life away like that!   Life is about CHOICE and with each and every positive choice we make we define who we are. What I couldn’t get my mind around was how selfish this young man had been.  He had thought of no one but himself with his destructive actions.  Hadn’t he seen that?  Where had he “learned” that he could do whatever he wanted to and not be accountable?

When we are given gifts and/or talents in our individual journeys, during this time on Earth, and we throw them away… we are being disrespectful not only to our Creator, but to all who love, nurture, and take care of us.  It is  hard for me to reflect on the number of young people who come from really difficult backgrounds and home lives and do go on to make the world a better place for those who will follow them.  There are many of those, but many “choose” to go the wrong way too.  

This was not the first former student who had chosen a destructive path in their lives.
It is then that I wondered with guilt if Society, as a whole, has just been too easy on America’s youth and young adults in the past two decades!  I am the first to acknowledge that there are many wonderful young people, but have we lost something that used to be present years ago, by giving too much and asking too little of them.


When do they stop asking for: cars, trips, and parents to “bail them out”  when they get into legal and/or financial trouble.   It appears that WE  have created THE generation of “entitlement” in our country. There is an unspoken ME, among many of them, that is so troubling.  We love them so much that we honestly believe the way to make them love us back is to always: give, forgive, and ignore their negative choices. 
Perhaps, we adults/parents are the selfish and needy ones. It is difficult to have our  children not “love us” or even dislike us from time to time.  What I’m professing is that being  good parents, (coaches or educators as well), requires a strong backbone.  Being strong parents is necessary and we must be consistent, even when our “children” get older. 

 There can be no copping out because it’s easier to say “Yes,” or “I’ll get you out of it,” or “Here’s the money for…,” saying”No!” is difficult, but often the only right thing to do.    However, with this said America’s youth in the end accountable for their own screw ups! There are always consequences for bad choices and always have been. They did not consult with us when they had unprotected sex, bought and used drugs/alcohol illegally, ran up credit cards, or dropped out of school.  We need to recognize that they can learn from their mistakes.  

We can not cure the problem(s) of our country’s upcoming generations, but we sure can start fixing our own mistakes in how we love them and guide them in positive directions.

 Right now, we can, and must, start by being stronger parents/adults and bosses/supervisors ourselves.   Give our children less and speak up about any negative choices in their lives when seen necessary.  Counsel, wisely and compassionately, employees when they are heading in the wrong direction at work and personally.  Being strong and caring for others is not a negative thing; caring for others is the right thing both for them and others.

My Christmas Wish for All!

~ Sue Brown ~ Leave a comment

These past months have been so much more than a “normal” test of Human Endurance and Personal Strength. “Strength” that includes physical strength as well as emotional strength are always ours to endure. The recent Presidential Election just added to the drama. Personally, some days are overwhelming; we all continue to have our own individual challenges as well . It is so easy to become sad and lonely. I get that.

We live in a world of constant and often frightening change and never know of our tomorrow (s). I often ask myself … what will tomorrow bring! Will I have a blessed day with no worries or sickness upon me? Will I be able to cope with what will be passed to me through my day? Will I make a difference to others who might be challenged more than I am?

Finally, it dawns on me that I am so blessed to just be able to wake up and open my eyes each and every morning. I get to experience glorious LIFE yet again. I should treasure each day, even during this time, and make everyday day count in my life. This is true now more than ever, right?

We must not dwell on the past and ruin our present. Our past sometimes can haunt us and make our present day not too enjoyable. If your own past has haunted you and it’s fixable, then go after the problem and resolve it, so that you can live in peace. If it cannot be fixed, then choose to let it go. CHOOSE to be at peace, happy, and help others.

As time and moments pass us by, they are then called memories and can be either positive or negative. We all want to have in our lives the best and happiest memories. None of us want to have bad memories of anything, but unfortunately, we will have many of them and disappointments to go along with them. It’s good to put everything in perspective. I coined a special word, years ago for my own personal memories that are painful; I call them “memroids.” It still works.

I try to live everyday to the fullest and make each day count because there is no guarantee to the length of our individual times on Earth. In my journey, there have been acquired lessons of great value. Treat all people with respect and kindness. Turn the other cheek as hard as it might be. Learn to love and respect yourself, because without that, you will have a hard time loving and respecting others.

Really appreciate what you have in your Life and don’t take anything for granted. We can all improve the quality of our existence with some extra hard work to achieve a personal goal. However, if that goal is not achieved, the gain is in the personal knowledge that all effort was put forth in the venture of trying.

I try to make it a habit to glance into the sky and say thanks for all things in Life… exactly as given. This includes these last few months of Covid-19. My days are rewarding; yet challenging, happy; while melancholy at times, enlightening; even at this point in my life, and exhausting; while at the same time… I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Each day we experience is as different and individual as each one of us. May we choose to live it well.