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FOR the LOVE of a CHILD…CASA!

~ Sue Brown ~ Leave a comment

Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA)

      There is nothing as wonderful as a healthy and well-loved child.  Indeed, the children of today become the future of America in a relatively short period of time. If they are healthy, well cared for, and loved then our own future is also one of security and well being.  But sadly, this often is not the case. There are so many children who are raised in a negative home environment and are abused or neglected—or sometimes both. It is easier to believe that it happens in other places, certainly not in “our town” or “our county,” but in reality it is everywhere in our country and in staggering numbers too.

         Each year almost 800,000 children (teens too) in the United States are part of the court and child welfare system. They are no longer allowed to live in their own home because of nothing they did, but rather because the adults responsible for their care and well-being either couldn’t or won’t take proper care of them.  This is where a CASA Volunteer is a valuable asset to the children in this position. As a CASA you are: screened, trained, supervised, and supported as a community volunteer who advocates for the best interest of abused and neglected children. 

      CASA may very well be the only volunteer organization that empowers everyday citizens as officers of the court.  They are appointed by judges to watch over a child until that case is closed and that child is placed in a safe and permanent home. While others may come and go from the lives of these children, a CASA may very well be the one constant in their young lives. They are the ones that make a difference. After the initial 6 week training is over, a volunteer may expect to devote some 10 hours per month to the organization.

      Last year alone, almost one quarter of a million abused and neglect children were helped by CASA volunteers. People who volunteer come from all backgrounds. Some have years of education and perhaps a background of working with children and families.  While others may have been part of the foster care system or have grown up in a less than healthy and stable home. Therefore, they want the best for a new generation of young people. There are no set requirements for a volunteer other than a strong desire to make a child’s life better.

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Choosing to be Happy!

There is a moment suspended in time…when someone who has been abused or has a personal on-going challenge such as drug or alcohol dependency…realizes that no matter how difficult their own personal challenge/test might have been, or currently is, there is always someone who has had it worse… or is suffering more, right now. I found it empowering in my own healing. Many who suffer, do it with a quiet dignity and are role models for all of us to emulate.

Ten years ago this month, Randy Pausch, a college professor in Pennsylania passed away from Cancer.  His best selling book, The Last Lecture, is a lesson in dignity and grace. It is about embracing what we have been GIVEN in life, rather than focusing on what has been TAKEN from us.  Whereas we are all aware that Childhood Abuse robs us of innocence and leaves gaping wounds in self-esteem and self-worth…we must also come to grips with the fact that when we are adolescents and  adults, we are not terminally ill like Randy, but rather curable.

However, for some of us…it is easier to place blame on our personal misery and failure as to what has been “done to us.”  Thought provoking would be to think on:  Does doing this wallowing make us feel better.  Has anyone ever felt better during the “Woe is me” trip…ever? I believe not. For myself, not feeling angry or sad towards my abuser(s) was the best medicine.  For Randy Pausch not feeling angry or sad that he was terminal, and would soon die…allowed him to live every day until the end in full and complete joy.

Being happy is a gift we give to ourselves; it is yours if you unwrap it.

CHANGING for the BETTER…even now!

Featured ~ Sue Brown ~ Leave a comment

These past months have been so much more than a “normal” test of Human Endurance and Personal Strength. “Strength” that includes physical strength as well as emotional strength are ours to endure. Personally, some days are overwhelming; we all continue to have our own individual challenges as well as the Covid Pandemic. It is so easy to become sad and lonely.

We live in a world of constant and often frightening change and never know of our tomorrow (s). I often ask myself … what will tomorrow  bring!  Will I have a blessed day with no worries or sickness upon me? Will I be able to cope with what will be passed to me through my day?  Will I make a difference to others who might be challenged more than I am?

Finally, it dawns on me that I am so blessed to just be able to wake up and open my eyes each and every morning.  I get to experience glorious LIFE yet again.  I should treasure each day, even during this time, and make everyday day count in my life. This is true now more than ever, right?

We must not dwell on the past and ruin our present. Our past sometimes can haunt us and make our present day not too enjoyable. If your own past has haunted you and it’s fixable, then go after the problem and resolve it, so that you can live in peace. If it cannot be fixed, then choose to let it go. CHOOSE to be at peace, happy, and help others.

As time and moments pass us by, they are then called memories and can be either positive or negative. We all want to have in our lives the best and happiest memories.  None of us want to have bad memories of anything, but unfortunately, we will have many of them and disappointments to go along with them.  It’s good to put everything in perspective. I coined a special word, years ago for my own personal memories that are painful; I call them “memroids.” It still works.

I try to live everyday to the fullest and make each day count because there is no guarantee to the length of our individual times on Earth. In my journey, there have been acquired lessons of great value. Treat all people with respect and kindness.  Turn the other cheek as hard as it might be. Learn to love and respect yourself, because without that, you will have a hard time loving and respecting others.

Really appreciate what you have in your Life and don’t take anything for granted.  We can all improve the quality of our existence with some extra hard work to achieve a personal goal.  However, if that goal is not achieved, the gain is in the personal knowledge that all effort was put forth in the venture of trying.

I try to make it a habit to glance into the sky and say thanks for all things in Life… exactly as given. This includes these last few months of Covid-19.  My days are rewarding; yet challenging, happy; while melancholy at times, enlightening; even at this point in my life, and exhausting; while at the same time… I wouldn’t want it any other way. 

Each day we experience is as different and individual as each one of us. May we choose to live it well.

ALCOHOLISM BREAKS HEARTS

~ Sue Brown ~ Leave a comment

Alcohol has played a major role in my life. I personally do not suffer from alcohol abuse, but people I love and care for do.  So many of us have a family member, friend, or colleague who currently is suffering from an addiction to a controlled substance.  It affects everyone with whom they come in contact.  I grew up in a household where alcohol was abused on a daily basis. Seemingly, it clouded the judgement of the people who were supposed to be loving and nurturing me.  The actions of physical and verbal abuse were easier to accomplish when the responsible parties were intoxicated.  “I didn’t know what was going on!”  “I don’t remember; I was drunk.”  Whatever.  It happened a long time ago and the “why” is just not important now.  In reality, I’ve never been angry, but rather sad for those involved.  It could have been so much different for them.

For many years, I have believed that a person “chooses” to be an alcoholic. I certainly have had that gene present in me and it would have been easier each and every time that my own life’s tests and personal challenges got too overbearing or too difficult to succumb to the numbing affect of alcohol.  After all, I would have an excuse; “It’s how I grew up,” and everyone would shake their head and say what a shame it was.  However, because that’s all I knew and I saw each “parent” screw up his/her life for different reasons, I chose not to drink to become numb to reality. I chose not to abuse myself .  That’s how I’ve come to view dependency on drugs and alcohol… personal abuse.

Now, after many years, I am still wondering if it is a choice… or is it an illness?Certainly, there are enough articles and studies to say that it might be an illness. However, it is undeniably odd that it just seems to make “sick” those who are prone to not taking responsibility for their own actions in  life.  Harsh, but true.

I will assume for arguments sake, that it is an “illness.”  Well, if one had a cold, broke a leg, or had Cancer… they would seek professional treatment, right?  I do not see this happening with most alcoholics.  My family knew what they had to do to “heal” but chose not to stop. Ever!  Actually, they would boast about their drinking.  My mother died at 59 from liver cancer that spread to her brain… from being an alcoholic.  She was angry and unhappy until her last breath.  So much for the alcohol.  Did she drink to forget or forget when she drank?  I was afraid to ask.

Again, in my own life, I am experiencing someone who choses to drink rather than face up to the challenges and setbacks they are dealt. (There are so many of us who have friends or relatives with some extent of addictions to drugs or alcohol.)  The term gut-wrenching comes to mind; it’s how it feels inside of me as I watch them destroy their  life.  It appears to be what they are actually  choosing for themselves or why don’t they stop?

When a person drinks their entire personality changes.  Everyone’s!   Under the influence or high one says and does things that they might ordinarily not do. Everyone!  They become empowered… or so they think.  Their actions are destructive, disrespectful, and deeply hurtful to anyone and everyone they come in contact with during this “high.”  The apologies afterward, although sincerely given, are soon forgotten.  Forgotten by them, but still painful to the receiver who undoubtedly will remember forever.

My constant Mantra is that life is not easy, it’s not supposed to be. For all those selfishly reeking havoc on families and loved ones because of excessive drinking or drug abuse…we love you and are worried about you. Actually, you are slowly but surely taking your own life. Seek  medical attention, just like you would  if you had any other illness. You can do it if you believe that you can.  It’s hard, it’s not a quick fix, and it can’t be done on your own.  Again, I’ve been there and seen it fail. The first test or challenge the “crutch” resurfaces for support and the abuser is right back where they started.

On the other side of the substance abuse– the world is waiting.  Your  gift is life.  Right now, it’s just existing not living.

We’ll all be waiting for you.  

Eliminating Negativity in Our Lives

Featured ~ Sue Brown ~ Leave a comment

During Covid 19, we as Humans get to make great changes to our lives, others lives, and thus our ONE WORLD!

The whole reason for any experience in life, even negative ones, is to call forth a remembrance of who we really are… as an object of our infinite potential.   We are each created as… All That Is and All That Is Not.  

When we stop trying to control, move past, go beyond, cast out, go above, or run from the possibilities of “negative” experiences in our live(s) then there is no reason for them to control us anymore.  There is learning to be done from each dose of negativity in our lives; there is no age limitation either. 

In other words, the instant we realize and accept that everything in our life is equal, (both negative and positive experiences),  then we recognize that we cannot go beyond or move past negative situations. They are just part of our life!  (I have to work really hard at this.)   The negative situations are equal to us, since we are infinitely everything.  That’s huge to even consider.

Hence, we are accepting to just let go (or “Let Go; Let God,) and allow the idea that the possibility of a “negative” situation has the potential to happen at anytime! You can become perfectly content with that idea, since you soon realize that everynegative situation is created, (even sometimes by ourselves), and allows us to grow!  It happens over and over.  Some of our biggest momentary negatives, we later look back on as “gifts” in our life.  We don’t see it initially, but down the road we suddenlyget it!

Magicians often use mirrors to perform their illusions because mirrors reflect a clear image of life making the illusion seem very real; you are unaware of the mirror that the magician is using. When you are the “magician” in real life situations… then there is no illusion; you see the mirror and you can therefore use the mirror as a tool.

If reality is a mirror, then you must change yourself in order to see the change in the mirror. If you desire for your hair to change then you must comb or brush the hair on your head… in order to see the change in the mirror! More times than not, people will try to change what they see by changing the mirrored reflection.

A current saying is, “Be the change you want to see in the world. ” It’s possible that this simplistic thought is exactly what that quote means. When you take responsibility for all of your reality, then you give yourself the power to change anything within your reality. Cool, huh?

We can adopt this perspective into reality, by first looking around at everything we see and hear in our reality right now. Next, close your eyes. When you close your eyes in the moment, you are telling your mind to refresh your viewpoint. Now, open your eyes and look around you again, except this time see everything as if we are looking into a mirror. Everything you are now seeing or hearing is a reflection of the mirror within you.

Everything starts from within and is reflected outwardly. If we don’t like what we see… in any aspect of our life… the reality and negative situation is ours to alter.

I’m a believer!

20/20 or 2020? CLEARLY IT IS FOR A REASON TO CHANGE!

~ Sue Brown ~ Leave a comment

It is often difficult to EVEN think about talking or writing to others in a purely “self-less” context.  We Human’s have a tendency to be self centered, right?

We often have our own agenda when we interact with someone on the phone, by writing, or even in person. Questions of our own interest and intent often get in the way of a more honest and realistic interaction and conversation.  It is easy to forget that when we deal with someone, one-on-one, we might be doing so not only for ourselves, but for someone else as well. Often we are not only a necessary link in communication with that person, but the only link. If this is the case, we need to be a strong connection, not a weak one.

Also, make a point of “telling” someone something…only if they will feel better from the new information being offered to them. Do not tell someone a bit of information to make yourself feel better!  That’s the opposite of “self-less.” You might momentarily feel “unburdened,” but it is only because you have now loaded the other person down with the negativity and hurt.

Today, ask someone something personal about themselves; this will make them feel as if they are more than a colleague, neighbor, or even a taken for granted relative.  It will make them realize that they matter… to you… in more than their “designated” role.

     It’s just a wonderful practice to really follow the Biblical wisdom of:
     Treat/speak to people as you would want others to speak/treat you. If we don’t like something done/said in our own lives; it’s our choice to make the effort to change …or not.
     We are never defined by negative actions directed toward us; we are  always what we choose for ourselves. 
     I really like that choice; I see it clearer now!

2020 THE YEAR THAT THINGS ARE CLEAR for Ourselves and OTHERS!

~ Sue Brown ~ Leave a comment

It is often difficult to think about talking or writing to others in a purely “self-less” context. World-over we now have had months to think on it as we “Covid Indoors.”

We often have our own agenda when we interact with someone on the phone, by writing, or even in person. Questions of our own interest and intent often get in the way of a more honest and realistic interaction and conversation.  It is easy to forget that when we deal with someone, one-on-one, we might be doing so not only for ourselves, but for someone else as well. Often we are not only a necessary link in communication with that person, but the only link. If this is the case, we need to be a strong connection, not a weak one.
Also, make a point of “telling” someone something…only if they will feel better from the new information being offered to them. Do not tell someone a bit of information to make yourself feel better!  That’s the opposite of “self-less.” You might feel “unburdened” but it is only because you have now loaded them down with the negativity and hurt. Today, ask someone something personal about themselves; this will make them feel as if they are more than a colleague, neighbor, or even a taken for granted relative.  It will make them realize that they matter… to you… in more than their “designated” role.

     It’s just a wonderful practice to really follow the Biblical wisdom :  Treat/speak to people as you would want others to speak/treat you. If we don’t like something done/said in our own lives, it’s our choice to make the effort to change …or not.

We are never defined by negative actions directed toward us; we are what we choose for ourselves.  I really like that choice.  I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW.

THE “TREE of LIFE” is GIVEN to ALL!

~ Sue Brown ~ Leave a comment

cropped-suebrownauthor-300dpi-3125x4167-6-1-1.jpgA central meaning associated with the Tree of Life is how life itself began. It further symbolizes the origins of all creation and origination and how everything is interconnected and dependent on each other.  I like that as an explanation of our own lives.

The Tree of Life symbol shows us how LIFE is created, becomes real, and then nourishes other forms of life.  So, then how does a writer, such as myself, come to manifest him or herself as a writer? Where/what  is your Tree of Life?   How do we create our writing and then bring it to life, nourishing ourselves and other living beings?  I have chosen to do it most often in my Blog entries; in this way I hope to reach the largest audience.

We design our own Tree of Life as a way to bring our dreams/ideas to fruition. We don’t go in “search of” someone else’s Tree of Life… we create a personalized design that brings us both satisfaction and fulfillment. Hopefully, we are not only bringing enjoyment to others, but things to ponder, as well. It is obvious from my writings that I have several passions in Life.  Foremost however, is the Welfare and Health of children.  All Children!

Start with investigating the design and symbolism of The Tree of Life for yourself.  You may discover along the way a more suitable design for you: the Medicine Wheel, the Trinity, or the Labyrinth, etc. You get the idea.  Choose a symbolic and/or mythical design and think on how it can be used to generate creativity and nourishment for your own ideas and creations. These ancient and widely used symbols offer up hidden and personal methods to not only explore our lives, but how we might live fully and with purpose.

In my novel, MEN CAN BE MEAN…  the title is actually a pun on MEN CAN BE ME(a)N, ah yes.   I used “fairytales” and “parallels” as symbolic guides to write my story.   In my non-fiction work, BARE THOUGHTS, my thoughts are “bare” for all to see and also, for some, “bear” because many have chosen to turn away from getting involved themselves because it’s often easier to “exist,” rather than to get involved with difficulty.  Humans often hurt humans.  Also, in my daily writings, I rely on the Tree of Life and Religious Cross to bring fruition to my writing ideas. I want to reach with by thoughts (akin to branches/ arms) as many people as I can. Often, it’s similar to a much needed hug.

The world is a garden of symbolic gestures and invitations to help us become who we already are destined to be.  Writers, Artists, Business Leaders, Educators, Laborers etc.

Find your inspiration and soar!

~ Sue Brown ~ Leave a comment
The goal of Lenten discipline is to be more fully conformed to the likeness of the Son of God, Jesus, who loved us and gave himself for us.
 I wonder if one thing we all might strive to give up this Lent is… CONTEMPT.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines “contempt” as “the feeling that a person or a thing is worthless or beneath consideration.” It is ultimately derived from the Latin word contemptus which means “to scorn or despise.”  I still get a kick out of my old-school Latin and how often our Modern Society defers to it.
As written in The New York Times, contempt is not the same thing as strongly disagreeing with someone. Not only are strong disagreements inevitable, but “Disagreement helps us innovate, improve, and find the truth.” It also leads to common understanding and new ideas.
The problem isn’t that we disagree; it’s how we disagree. Increasingly, disagreements today are characterized by a “noxious brew of anger and disgust,” which is directed not only at bad ideas, but also at the people who espouse them. Mmmm…
This goes beyond incivility and rudeness. It even goes beyond intolerance. It’s the conviction that while your side “is driven by benevolence,” the other side “is evil and motivated by hatred.”  Who does this help?  No one!
You can probably think of several examples of contempt recently directed at Christians. So can I. However, to paraphrase the First Letter of John, if we say that we are free of contempt, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. Can we honestly say that we never think of our opponents, in any area, as: not quite as informed, educated, or forward thinking as we are?  Do we always strive to be “greater than thou” with people while we criticize their ideas?
The fact that we  ourselves are often unjustly maligned… isn’t a reason to reciprocate in kind.
As part of our observance of Lent, let’s be mindful of those “occasions of sin,” those settings and circumstances that expose us to temptation. In the case of contempt for our opponents, things like social media, cable news, and political websites can be such occasions.
These are the mechanisms and media for modern propaganda and word peddlers.  They are  folks who “profit from the culture of contempt.” They pump up the outrage in our country and you can almost hear the ego rise with every page view and “like.”
Of course, this isn’t easy when so much is at stake in our culture. But being conformed to Jesus’ likeness isn’t supposed to be easy. It involved dying. We should be grateful that, in this instance, the “death” being demanded of us is…  to not treat our enemies as if they are beneath our consideration.
 After all, Jesus not only suffered his enemies, he suffered for them — and that includes us, who in our sin … were also his enemies as well.  AMEN!